It is said that all you need is love, but nobody told us how difficult, wait, almost impossible it is to find this “love”. We are a country that grew up on a steady diet of cheesy Bollywood romances. Everyone believes that they too will find the Simran to their Raj. And even though girls have shown absolutely no interest in you, your already single sidekick keeps your hope up by telling you that uski naa mein bhi haa hai (there’s a hidden YES in her NO). Don’t fall for all this. Our team of researchers (who might be single too… but that’s beside the point) have come up with this foolproof checklist of how to get a girlfriend in India and take her out on a cold coffee date. Why a cold coffee date, you ask? Now, you can’t take a girl out to a tapri to impress her, would you?
Table of contents
Identify places to meet your potential match
Now that you have decided that you’re no longer going to be single or the topic of many “single hi marega tu” jokes by your committed friends, the first step to getting a girlfriend is to identify where you can meet the girl of your dreams (or anyone who’d remotely show interest in you).
Now, these places could either be your office, your classroom, the gym, a friend or a family member’s wedding. And if none of these places helps, there’s always the good ol’ dating apps like Tinder and Bumble.
Get active at these places and showcase your personality, because that is one of the most attractive qualities a guy could have. Your clothes, the vehicle you drive and everything else comes secondary. But, make sure you don’t cross the line of being creepy. Itna aasaan thodi hai, dost?
Dress for the date you want
Once you have identified the spots where you could meet your potential girlfriend, you must look the part as well. Well, learn from the OG Chocolate Boy of Bollywood, Shahid Kapoor, you have to stand out from the crowd to get her to notice you.
Dress well, dress for the occasion and dress with the trends. Basically, don’t step out wearing an un-ironed shirt. Do not wear a hoodie to an engagement party and definitely ditch wearing those acid-wash jeans with anything, they’re so last decade. Remember, you want to be charming like Bunny from Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani and not Suri from Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi.
Find common ground or people
While we are all for confidence and going out and speaking to the girl you like to make an impression, we don’t want your sorry single self to crash and burn if she says no to your face. Hence here’s some advice, find common points of interest to initiate a soft conversation and then maybe turn up the game. Another easy and safe way to form a connection is to find common people between you. Remember, if there was no Anjali, then Rahul wouldn’t have made an impression on Tina in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.
Common friends help make an introduction, maybe put in a good word about you to the girl you like and even help break the ice by creating situations to meet and interact. Basically, we’re telling you to find the cheese that brings the bun and patty together to form the best burger.
Do your homework - Research well
Once you have made contact, there’s no backing down. You have to up your game and be on your feet all the time, to ensure that the spark doesn’t die down after the initial conversation.
And this is possible when you have enough knowledge about what she likes, what she doesn’t, what are the things that excite her, what kind of music she listens to, which movies she watches and which foods get her drooling. For example, if she loves to watch Brooklyn 99, listens to Rahat Fateh Ali Khan and never says no to pizza, you know your next conversation can revolve around which Haloween Heist was the best, if Rahat Fateh Ali Khan should feature again on Coke Studio and which places in your city serves the best pizza.
Ditch those cheesy lines
Okay, let’s get this straight. Cheese is the best thing when it is melted and on pizza and in burgers or inside wraps. Definitely NOT ON PICK UP LINES.
So, instead of trying to impress the girl by telling her if she were a fruit she’d be a fine apple, make conversations with her and exchange ideas, thoughts and opinions because that’s what showcases your real personality. (Remember the previous point and the first point? If not, go back and read them again!)
Remember, love is a journey
Finding love in India is a wild ride, full of unexpected turns and maybe a few bumps along the way. But hey, that’s what makes it interesting, right? So read this checklist every time you plan on meeting someone interesting and eventually dating her. This will be your ultimate guide, your best wingman. But yes, make sure you keep this a secret initially. Because we all know, Indian families are not very chill about dating and all, right?
Date Time - Aajao Ajay’s Cafe Pe!
Now that you have impressed the girl you like, she has given hints that you two must go out on a date, yahan galti mat karna! Don’t go for the usual, ghisa-pita options of watching a movie. Because inside a theatre, you’d be busy watching the film rather than talking.
Bring her to Ajay’s Cafe. Order the Peri-Peri Cheesy Delight to spice up the conversation, some Salted Fries with a dip to share between the both of you and a Classic Cold Coffee each. And to make it more fun, you can actually choose to sit at one of the board game tables and play a fun game of Ludo or Snakes and Ladders.
Hai na ekdam mast, cute first date?
Disclaimer: This guide is intended for entertainment purposes only. Actual results may vary. Because all these stunts were tried and tested by experts. The best case scenario of all these working out well will occur only if you eventually take her out to Ajay’s Cafe for a fun date. And do not blame us if your family ki Seema aunty eventually sets you up with a dentist (they earn good money even though they may not be actual doctors, you know).
